Where Is It!?
by Shinigami Illusion
Summary: This is very strange...don't flame me for this, I don't know where it came from o.O;; Warning for strong language, insane stuff ^^ **FINISHED!!**


Title:Where is the hairtie!?  
  
Warnings: Um..the usual..a bit freaky..sick..hehehe =D OOC a bit as well. *nod* And...cat claws...in association with GW pilot asses.  
  
Disclaimer:I do not own Gundam Wing...but I DO own Heero's black cat (Shinigami) and my stuffed turtle, Kame. He's from Thailand. And doesn't speak much.  
  
  
  
Martina:And..it's another RANDOM FIC! And now, over to the weather.  
  
Kame:....  
  
Martina:The..er..news?  
  
Kame:....  
  
Martina:The silence?  
  
Kame: Hello dear friends! *blabbers on about cnidarians*  
  
Martina: Â¬Â¬  
  
  
  
*  
  
  
  
"SHINIGAMI! NOOOOOO!"  
  
Four of the possible five choices of Gundam Pilots were situated around the breakfast table. The one missing, also the one now screaming, was none other than...A crazed mute old man with a walking stick. That, or Duo. You could pick either. He certainly was screaming like a crazed old man, deleting the 'mute' part of it.  
  
"Hn?" Heero looked up from his weetabix and blinked several times. Quatre's face smashed into his cereal bowl on recieving the blast of the 280 decible yell and splashed milk on Wufei's newspaper, who sprung up and went on a yelling spree, running in chibi circles and screaming as if his ass was on fire. And Trowa...he didn't do anything. Except blink, if even that.  
  
"Ne?"  
  
"Hm?"  
  
"Wha-?"  
  
"...!?"  
  
"MY GOD! AAAAAAH!"  
  
"Duo? Are you fucking someone without asking me to join!?" Heero sounded extremely hurt, and it wouldn't have been surprising if he burst into tears all of a sudden. But of course...that didn't happen. It never would.  
  
"IT'S WOOOOORSE!" Duo hollered from his room, and they could hear exagarrated sobs from that general direction. Wufei's perverted mind caused his nose to explode and a cascading waterfall of red gushed over his already destroyed newspaper. He snatched it up and stalked into the bathroom in a huff, locking the door behind him.  
  
"Isn't the toilet paper finished?" Quatre asked quietly, feeling guilty for neglecting house duties.  
  
"He's got newspaper. It's just as good." Trowa replied.  
  
Heero and Quatre stared at Trowa with oogly eyes.  
  
"......"  
  
"......"  
  
"NO! I don't use newspaper! Geeze!" Trowa roared at them, suddenly alive with a hellish blast of anger.  
  
"Meep..." Quatre shrank back, and Heero couldn't even manage a death glare even though he tried.  
  
"Well. Back to the problem at hand." Trowa returned to his super-calm-ish tone, gesturing elegantly at the staircase from where hollering and laments were still heard.  
  
"...Duo?"  
  
"IT'S HOOOOOORRIBLE!"  
  
"Hn. Proves to you, you shouldn't fuck anyone but 'me'." Heero nodded in conclusion, giving Trowa and Quatre a famous death glare as they inched away from him.  
  
"I'M NOT FUCKING ANYONE!...can I though?"  
  
The three pilots downstairs facefaulted, and a splash of nosebleed hitting the door was heard from the bathroom.  
  
"Just get yerself down here and explain yourself." Heero shouted, clenching his fists angrily.  
  
"I...CAN'T! I can't let you see me like this!" Duo hollered back, giving off another shuddering sob.  
  
"......."  
  
"......."  
  
"......."  
  
"DUO!?"  
  
All at once, the pilots leapt out of their chairs, leaving their blood- covered-milk-spilt-would-be-breakfast-thing to the birds of prey. Or...something, and fought their way up the stairs.  
  
"Trowa, move!" Quatre snapped, somehow having managed to get the three of them stuck in the staircase with their hips jammed together.  
  
"MOVE MOVE MOVE MOVE MOVE!" they shouted at eachother, kicking and squirming to get free. But in vain, they were jammed tight into the slim staircase, and couldn't move backwards or forwards.  
  
"...HEEEELP! DUO! WE'RE STUCK IN THE STAIRCASE!"  
  
"...well that was just DUMB!"  
  
"Well GET HERE and HELP US then!"  
  
"...nuh-uh! I can't! It's..so..shameful!"  
  
"DUO!"  
  
"NEVER!"  
  
Suddenly, the three pilots all went silent. Their eyes glazed over, and their faces seemed to pale all at once. Had they been able to see behind them, the would have spotted a black cat, with his very long sharp claws dug into their jeans..or more specifically, their asses. As is a well known fact, pilot ass is very vulnurable to cat claws.  
  
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" like a bullets being fired from a gun, they shot forward and up the stairs, tearing down portraits, pictures, and even wallpaper as they tumbled along the hallway to Duo's room.  
  
"We're here! At last!" Quatre cheered, as if they'd climbed Mt. Everest or gotten through a grocery line. Trowa and Heero fell silent.  
  
"Er...stop looking at me like that!" Quatres eyes watered.  
  
Both pilots reached out and patted Quatre reassuringly on the head, and his eyes cleared up immediately, leaving him grinning from ear to ear. They returned to the 'situation' at hand.  
  
"Duo! We're coming in!"  
  
"NO! IT'S TOO HORRIBLE!"  
  
"NO BUT'S DUO!" Heero shouted, and he backed up against the wall of the hall. "AAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!" he charged the whole door down, along with bits of wall and foundation, which rained over the door frame. The rest of the pilots leapt into the room. Heero in the middle, one leg raised and his hands in a branchlike fashion, Trowa and Quatre flanking him with their hands raised into the shape of guns.  
  
"Charlies Angles!" Corny music plays. The dust starts clearing. The tension rises. What will they find behind the sheet of dust!?  
  
When the last particle of dust had scooted off into the distance, a scene unfolded before their eyes.  
  
Duo, standing infront of the dresser, pointing with wide eyes and a horrified expression at the space infront of the mirror.  
  
There was a large sign there, which was labelled in red marker "DUO'S HAIRBAND. KEEP OFF."  
  
And in the space under the sign, where he was pointing...  
  
There was...  
  
No...  
  
Hairband....  
  
They all gasped, and Quatres head lolled oddly as if it was going to fall off. Heero was stunned into silence, and Trowa, well, he was even MORE silent than usual. They remained in Charlies Angel formation, joining Duo in oogling at the horrifying scene before their eyes.  
  
"Oh my god..."  
  
"Oh..."  
  
"My..."  
  
"God..."  
  
Duo's eyes were tear stained, but he made no effort to wipe them. He looked DEVESTATED. Destroyed, even. Silence prevailed.  
  
Wufei sauntered into the room, and paused to stare momentarily at the Gundam Pilot Charlies Angel Statue, and at the depressing-Duo-Statue.  
  
"Hmph."  
  
He took something out of his hair, a plain black hairtie, and dropped it onto the dresser under the sign. He turned on his heel, and walked out of the room, closing what was left of the doorframe.  
  
Silence.  
  
  
  
FINISHED!!  
  
  
  
A/N: This fic took...15 minutes..o_O;;; I really don't know where it came from... 


End file.
